Praying in a small group with my church family is a beautiful, but equally frustrating, experience. I love the freedom we have as God’s children to meet together and know His presence, I feel uplifted as others pray for my personal circumstances and spiritual health, and I’m excited and challenged to do the same for my brothers and sisters in Christ as they try to live for His glory. But praying out loud with an ‘audience’ is not easy for me, and I get frustrated at my inability to express in words all that is on my heart, especially when others pray with such warmth, depth and apparent ease.
I don’t think it’s something that can ever really change. It’s not in my nature to be comfortable speaking in the silence to a room full of attentive ears (give me something to write with and I’ll happily, and articulately, voice my thoughts!) and if you’re reading this it’s likely you struggle with the same problem. I’ve found there are ways to ease the frustration and anxiety of praying out loud, and while they won’t ever ‘fix’ everything, they are good reminders to keep coming back to.
Reminders
You are talking to God
It may seem like an obvious point, but I’ve sometimes wondered if I’m actually just praying to the room. I’m so concerned about what others think of my stumbling sentences, and lack of biblical references and theological input, I forget to be worried about what God hears. In all our groans and stutterings, the Holy Spirit acts as intercessor – interpreting our weak words to a great God (Romans 8:26). We can be confident that our hearts are being heard by the One who bends low to listen.
You are with your brothers and sisters
Maybe you missed that before. If you’re praying with other Christians, you’re praying with your brothers and sisters in Christ; your family. Family members understand your weaknesses and struggles, just as you understand theirs. They also know that you love the Lord Jesus, and the fact that you are sitting in that room with them, willing to lift them up to Him in disjointed prayer, shows that you love them too. (1 Thess 5:11)
God uses your prayers
You are holy in God’s sight because you are cloaked in Jesus’ righteousness. The Bible promises that God works through the prayers of his righteous children (1 Peter 3:12, James 5:16). Your praise and petition might seem a little muddled to you, but it is beautiful to the Lord. He delights to hear your prayers, and he works powerfully through them.
Practical tips
Have something prepared
If you know you’re going to pray, have an idea of what you would like to pray for before everyone gets started. It’s helpful to plan the first couple of sentences in your head so that you have the confidence to break the silence and get going. It’s not always possible to do this, so a simple way to start any prayer in a group setting is ‘Lord, thank you for this time we can spend praying together’. And if someone prays for the things you were going to pray for, it doesn’t matter. Pray for it again! We always say this to our youth group, so it’s important we practice it ourselves.
Pray early on
The longer you wait to pray in a group setting, the harder it is to actually say anything. It’s also more likely that people will have prayed through all the things you had mentally prepared to pray for, and the longer you wait the more it strips you of your confidence to repeat them. It’s hard, but good, to pray early on and once you have spoken up it might then be easier to pray again if something else comes to mind.
Practice praying out loud
Do this at home. During your ‘quiet time’ pray as you normally would to the Lord, but voice it all. It will be clumsy and unnatural at first, but you’ll soon get used to your sentences filling the space around you, and you will feel safe knowing it’s just between you and your Father.
Pray about it!
God knows your struggles and fears. He knows that you dread the prayer meetings, and home groups, and being picked on to pray first. He knows that your mind goes blank when faced with a silent room and dozens of listening ears. He knows that you desperately want to love praying in a group setting because you want to build others up as they build you up, and He wants to help you with it all. Come before Him and lay it all down at His feet. Ask Him to give you confidence to pray out loud, the right words to speak, and the knowledge that your voice is not nearly as important to Him as your heart.
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